The Ups and Downs of Reinventing Your Life At 43 With Children

Hey everybody! Please take pleasure in this nice visitor put up from Joe and Kristin DiSanto. That is all about how they made the drastic resolution to vary their life and take a look at one thing new – they went from chasing success to looking for success. I do know that many individuals have felt “caught” at instances, and this could be a nice learn to assist push you out of your field.

So…Howdy! 

We're Joe and Kristin DiSanto, a former govt producer/enterprise proprietor and a former movie/industrial editor from Los Angeles. Since assembly and marrying in Los Angeles, we spent a few years and grueling hours climbing to success within the promoting, movie and tv industries.

We went from usually working without cost, to constructing a put up manufacturing firm with our greatest buddies that introduced in hundreds of thousands of , received Emmys, and fulfilled our lofty profession objectives.

AND THEN WE KISSED IT ALL GOODBYE to start out a brand new life. 

On the ages of 38 (Kristin) and 43 (Joe), we left our disturbing massive metropolis careers and relocated to an enthralling Florida seaside city the place we knew nobody, however had the liberty to lift our Three-year-old son full-time—and redefine our “dream life.”

We traded in time spent on work, for time spent collectively as a household. 

Kristin is now in a position to be a full-time mother and part-time blogger. Joe is a part-time bookkeeper and small enterprise marketing consultant and part-time blogger.

Irrespective of how a lot you like your job (we really did love our careers), it simply depletes your time, creativity and vitality. So once you get dwelling to your supposed “life”…you have got little left to present.

We needed to take again that life pressure, and try and hit the reset button. 

How did we handle to drag this profession shift off?

Nicely…a variety of monetary planning, some good investments (principally actual property), and a wholesome worry of life passing by earlier than we really obtained an opportunity to stay it. However even with most of our monetary geese in a row, NONE of this profession shifting was straightforward.

We had a complete breakdown in Austin, Texas (our first cease on the journey), and made a bunch of errors alongside the best way that price us emotionally and financially. For example…I do not know…saaayyy…transferring midway throughout the nation with a toddler, twice in three months!

So, we’re going to relay our story to you in hopes you can observe your personal needs to vary your life and enterprise into the unknown…with some precious information underneath your belt. On the finish, we’ll provide you with a clear “earlier than and after” breakdown of our funds so you possibly can see how we had been in a position to accomplish our life adjustments. And we’ll provide you with recommendations on how to economize throughout a giant transfer.

Okay, right here’s our story.

 

Assembly and Making it in La La Land

As a pair, we made a pact way back to attempt to hold our lives attention-grabbing. When issues had been getting stale, we must always push ourselves out of our consolation zones, and go larger.

If life is a recreation, we needed to win, and have as a lot enjoyable as doable doing it. We lived very completely different lives in our youth, however by some means ended up with the same shared want to succeed, and we had been capable of finding one another and tackle the problem collectively.

Joe grew up in Windfall, Rhode Island, the place he spent his youth driving bmx bikes, breakdancing and graffiti tagging “Smash” round city. Kristin is a former musical theatre nerd turned movie nerd. She grew up taking faucet lessons, attending Broadway reveals and singing at church in Grand Rapids, MI. Destiny introduced our two surprisingly divergent paths collectively at a Venice, CA music video post-production home, the place we fell in love and got down to obtain our desires within the leisure business in August of 2002. 

By 2004, Joe purchased his first dwelling, and we moved into it collectively! Fortunately by just a few years later, with the assistance of that home and some diagonal strikes on the work entrance, he managed to get himself absolutely out of pupil mortgage and bank card debt ($75,000). Kristin was steadily climbing the ranks of business modifying alongside the best way as properly, and was lastly beginning to catch some breaks. In late 2005, Joe and his companions broke off and began their very own firm, which Kristin quickly joined.

From 2006 to 2018, we managed to constructed a multi-million greenback put up manufacturing firm with our greatest buddies, helped create and edit critically acclaimed movies, commercials, and an Emmy profitable TV present, obtained married on a mountaintop in Santa Barbara, purchased Eight funding properties and our beachside dream dwelling, after which, in 2018, left all that achievement behind.

Why?

Two primary causes: inertia, and the beginning of our son. 

 

First, Let’s speak about inertia. We had made that promise to one another to maintain our lives thrilling, and with out realizing it, our life had developed, let's consider, a cage-like predictability. We got here to seek advice from this phenomenon as “The Golden Hamster Wheel.”

We seemingly had all of it discovered. We had a profitable enterprise, we had been residing in a “nice home” in a  “nice neighborhood” with “nice colleges” (arduous to come back by in LA). Our commute to the brand new workplace, that Joe had lately accomplished development on, was solely 15 minutes away (that quick commute was a MAJOR life bonus for anybody residing in LA). And we labored on cool initiatives on a regular basis with our buddies. 

We knew that all of it SHOULD have made us utterly fulfilled (and it did for an extended whereas), however the reality was…it wasn't doing it anymore. (It was really actually annoying that it wasn't. Issues would have been a lot simpler if it was..haha!)

We felt like one thing was lacking.

One way or the other we couldn’t see then that we had been operating, like scared little hamsters, on that massive ol’ shiny wheel we had so painstakingly constructed. 

After which it occurred…

 

Was the Lacking Piece Our Progeny? (haha)

In 2015, we had been overjoyed by the beginning of our son. We anticipated it to be a troublesome transition as we turned new dad and mom after which went again to work. However we figured after the primary yr it could be a lot simpler.

We had been incorrect. 

 

Not solely did life not get again to regular, it obtained worse. Sustaining our way of life turned far more sophisticated. We rushed to the workplace, leaving our son with a nanny all day (thank God she was one of the best human we might have ever employed).

Work had began to turn out to be increasingly like a J-O-B, and fewer and fewer like our ardour. One in every of us floored it again dwelling to see our son simply earlier than mattress. 

We ordered our over-priced natural groceries on-line as a result of we didn’t have time to go to the shop. We had a housekeeper as a result of we didn’t have time to wash or do laundry. We drove costly automobiles, wore fashionable garments (okay, that was simply Kristin), all the time had hair and nails completed (Kristin, once more), as a result of we “wanted” to undertaking a sure picture in our line of labor. 

We took our son to museums and eating places and play dates on the weekend, tried to take care of our LA social life, didn't train, tried to rejuvenate our romance often, and at evening we fell asleep simply freaking exhausted—after which it began yet again the subsequent day. 

We felt like we had been simply going by way of the motions, and not actively enjoying the sport. And albeit, we began to get sick of listening to ourselves complain. Our Golden Hamster Wheel was revealed to us in all it’s tedious glory. 

We needed to lastly admit that we had been principally working and shopping for our means by way of life—and paying for it in additional methods than one. It’s astounding how one can work so arduous to attain a really particularly wanted life…and have it in the end go away you feeling unhappy. 

Over time earlier than having a child, we had begun to marvel if our ardour and drive would ultimately put on out—that the lengthy hours would suck all of the vitality and creativity out of us. We’d casually talked about how “sometime, possibly we’d simply give up our jobs and take a look at one thing new,” nevertheless it was all the time a “sometime” that was far off sooner or later.

And in addition to, why would we do this?!

We had been residing our DREAM LIFE, proper? 

 

The Catalyst for Our Cross Nation Transfer

The beginning of our son immediately made clear that “sometime” had most positively arrived. 

Throughout the first two years of our son’s life, we hatched a plan to take a one yr hiatus from work (how we might technically accomplish this was unclear, however most nice issues begin as a dream!:). We got here up with the thought to maneuver near one in all our rental properties in Austin, TX, renovate it, then transfer into it, after which resolve on the finish of that yr if we needed to come back again to our previous life. 

Initially, this was a neater tablet to swallow than simply leaving every part behind…FOREVER! But it surely didn’t take lengthy for us to see that the probability of having the ability to come again (or desirous to) after leaving our careers and promoting our dwelling, was minuscule. 

We determined we must go away indefinitely, and divest ourselves from the corporate and our jobs. It took about six months to activate our plan. It was a significant enterprise of paperwork and awkward chats with shocked buddies and colleagues (“Wait, so what are you doing? And why are you doing this?”), nevertheless it all got here to fruition the morning we lastly obtained on that aircraft and watched Los Angeles, and everybody we cherished, fade into the gap.

It felt like life was simply starting for us once more.

 

(that really sounds sort of candy once you put it like that, however spoiler alert, we weren't feeling the nice and cozy glow of freedom, sunshine and a brand new life…we had been kinda freaking the @#$% out).

 

Howdy Austin, TX! (or “Expensive God, What Have We Accomplished?”)

Because it seems, the burbs of Austin was very temporary cease for us—as in solely eighty-eight days! It wasn’t precisely the start we’d imagined. 

 

We like to consider it now as our “purgatory”, the place we had been sequestered whereas we detoxed from our achievement oriented lives in LA. For the primary time, we had been one-on-one with our son full-time, and we had no official jobs to drag us away.

NO JOBS!

We did have the renovation of our rental home, which we had been residing only a few minutes away from, however aside from that, there was nowhere to cover from our fears. 

It wasn’t lengthy earlier than the preliminary elation of leaving our careers was sheer panic.

“Are we COMPLETE IDIOTS??? What have we completed???

Did we actually give up our superb jobs to stay in a city so scorching it actually appears like you might be burning in hell!? And the way can a spot probably have as many god-forsaken strip malls as they've blood-sucking mosquitos!?!” 

And naturally there was the fixed moaning about “having no buddies.”

Suffice it to say, there was a variety of crying after our transfer, and pointless daydreaming about how we might negotiate our means again into our previous, secure lives.

What. Had. We. DONE. 

Past our personal private fears, we additionally had our Three yr previous son who was discovering the change to be very troublesome as properly. Once we examine folks residing in RVs with babies it all the time amazes us. Our son doesn't do properly with CHANGE because it had been.  Simply getting used to a brand new room took him some time, nevermind abandoning his greatest good friend and nanny, after which being launched to preschool for the primary time. 

It was actually arduous on him, and we felt fairly dangerous about it. (Little did he know he can be transferring into two extra new rooms within the subsequent 9 months earlier than he was lastly settled). Although admittedly, I feel he was joyful to go away Austin for Florida too..haha!

Okaaay, so sounds fairly nice to date, proper!? Prepared for your personal massive transfer now? Ha ha! We’ll it’s time to show this unhappy story round. No, we didn’t run again to LA with our tails between our legs. Fortunately, after spending means an excessive amount of time feeling misplaced in a bottomless pit of hysteria, we had been nonetheless sane sufficient to know that we HAD TO DO SOMETHING to assist get us by way of our physiological turmoil. 

 

Climbing Our Approach Out of Despair

Once you really feel such as you’ve misplaced every part that after outlined “you,” it may be a superb start line to reevaluate who you actually are with out all of the labels.

So, we tried to dig deep.

We began trying to find…dun dun dun: “that means.” Mainly, we started voraciously studying books about “discovering pleasure” and “life’s objective.” We researched and began meditating. We downloaded programs on “gratitude.” We watched documentaries about happiness. We drank a variety of low-cost Lonestar beer (not precisely digging deep however, hey, we’re human).

And you already know what? It helped!

It began to make a big distinction. At instances, we might really peer by way of the thick fog of worry and see all that we had gained—as an alternative of serious about the “conveniences” and “comforts” we had given up. We started to extra clearly see behind the scenes.

 

Rental Property Rehab

Whereas our son was at preschool every morning, we went over to the rental home and scraped, painted, dug and scrubbed. We determined that, amongst different duties, we had been going to tackle portray your entire inside of the home.

It’s doable we had been romanticizing what this is able to really entail, however let’s simply say, we discovered that portray a WHOLE home (from new drywall) is fairly powerful and time consuming for a do-it-yourselfer. It's NOT a “meditative approach.” Maybe we (Kristin) learn Eat Pray Love just a few too many instances. Because it turned out, portray your entire inside of a home was a frickin’ tedious enterprise.

 

We’d begin out every morning very detailed and cautious every morning, however after just a few hours of portray we had been spent, and we’d simply find yourself slopping it on and considering, “Yep, good job.” Portray isn’t rocket science, and nearly anybody can do it, nevertheless it does check one’s inside (and outer) energy. It made us understand that we’d taken without any consideration all of the painters who do skilled work and stick with it hour after hour each day. (Sending out MAJOR excessive fives to all home painters all over the place.)

Surprisingly, although, the extra days we labored, the extra satisfaction we found in our small triumphs—like figuring out and eradicating an invasion of poison ivy with out contracting a rash…or studying tips on how to use a paint gun like a ninja (paint rolling is for suckas). We had puffy swollen eyes, paint in our hair and fingertips so ripped up they had been peeling off in chunks (rattling you metal wool!), however we had been gaining a lot extra. 

 

 

Alright…don’t throw up once you hear this, however each morning at breakfast we every took turns writing down one thing we had been grateful for so as to add to the “grateful jar.” (This was impressed by a Gratitude course we’d downloaded from the Perception Timer App. We swear it'll change your life!)

We might actually see the outcomes of all of our efforts stacking up within the glass jar.

Feeling gratitude for issues like “The way in which our pepperoni pizza reheated so properly within the oven” and “lightbulbs, as a result of they make every part vibrant,” actually made us happier. 

Finally we needed to reluctantly admit, we couldn’t have picked a greater place for our detox interval.  If we had moved to paradise with seashores and margaritas, it simply would have distracted us from the work we wanted to do to be able to let go of our previous lives.

We needed to be taught to relinquish the tight management we had maintained over each side of our existence, and simply trip the wave you’ve obtained. (however to be clear we don’t surf. I feel I obtained that from Pete The Cat).

 

Goodbye Texas, Howdy…NEW US? 

As a lot as we felt reluctantly rewarded (wait did I say reluctantly once more?) by the metamorphosis of our Austin rental, and actually gained from the expertise, we couldn’t wait to GTF out. Ha! We slapped a “on the market” enroll on our Texas home and by chance offered it for asking value. 

Then, simply three months after having packed all our belongings right into a transferring truck, we made a second main life resolution to pack up and transfer our household, AGAIN. Not an thrilling proposition at that time, however we noticed it as the one means ahead.

The place did we go?  Nicely that is a really trendy story involving the web.  We did not know the place to go. If you find yourself not pushed to a spot by both household or work, it’s really surprisingly arduous to “know the place to go.” We knew we missed being close to water and that we needed a city with an enthralling primary road.

Sooo…we googled “fairly priced seaside cities with charming primary streets”. 

Yeah..bizarre.

Anyway, we made a listing of six cities that appeared actually good within the footage, and appeared to examine off some or all of our bins.

Moderately priced propertiesAffordable to low property taxHopefully no earnings taxWalkableRespectable colleges, and many others and many others.

It’s arduous to get all these items in a single city! 

Then we stated to ourselves, properly we have to go go to these locations. Downside was that we solely had about 1.5months left on our Airbnb, and we nonetheless had a renovation to finish earlier than that date arrived. So, we picked the city that appeared essentially the most promising, and went for five days…Dunedin FL.

It’s arduous to resolve if you wish to transfer someplace in just a few days, however we had been NOT staying in Austin…and we did not have time to go to wherever else on the listing, so we had been like, “Right here we come Dunedin! (PLEASE PLEASE be a pleasant place to stay, Dunedin!!!!).”

Nicely, fortuitously, Dunedin turned out to be a beautiful place to stay. We really actually love residing right here…THANK GOD. And this time round, we discovered a less expensive solution to transfer, which concerned a smaller truck, much less stuff and Joe driving it alone for 2 days (extra on that within the numbers). Inside a short while of being right here, we additionally discovered a house we needed to spend money on and renovate! 

After one other “enjoyable” Eight-month renovation, we moved into our “new previous” 1942 craftsman dwelling (nearly on our 1 yr anniversary of leaving LA). It’s situated only a quick stroll from the gulf, and even at that, our prices are considerably lower than in LA. We each make money working from home, have one automobile, clear our personal home, and spend most of our time with our son and a few nice new buddies.

We’re extra free to train (nearly) daily, stroll to eating places for dinner (I do know, simply breathe right into a paper bag FI/RE buddies), and go to our households greater than we ever have earlier than. 

 

We are able to’t say that it’s been straightforward to make this transition.

In truth, it was the toughest, craziest factor we’ve ever completed, and our egos usually put up a helluva struggle.

However over a yr after extracting ourselves from our former life, and with loads of time for reflection on what we actually need on this subsequent chapter (which we seek advice from it as our “Scenic Route”), we all know that we made the appropriate resolution for our household. 

 

What Have We Discovered?

First, we discovered that quitting our jobs and transferring to a different state with a younger baby was “a giant deal.” We each moved to LA once we had been in our 20’s, from states distant, and it didn’t appear arduous to both of us on the time. So I don’t suppose we might have ever guessed the impression it could have on us. Additionally after residing in a spot for therefore lengthy, it turns into a part of your id, and that's arduous to unwind.

In so some ways, we misplaced our household’s security web. BUT, once you let go of every part and everybody you’ve been gathering round you for years to create your life, you’ll discover that you just DO ultimately settle in. Once you do, you start to really feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. Perhaps it’s this freedom that permits you to evolve quicker right into a more true model of your self.

Now we're not so involved with “profitable” the sport, however are extra involved in having the pliability to regulate as we go. We wish to be (as) financially unbiased (as doable), journey extra, and probably transfer overseas when our son is a bit older. 

Additionally, we’ve discovered to focus extra on intrinsic objectives—like residing every day with gratitude—as an alternative of extrinsic objectives—like looking for recognition. (Though having the ability to stay every day with gratitude deserves some sort of award, proper?!?!) We've to maintain engaged on this always! We positively haven’t mastered this new means of viewing life but.

Lastly, we discovered that we are able to transfer away and survive, make new buddies, and have superb adventures. Once we first left LA, we weren’t assured about our resolution, and had a variety of worry that we might simply wish to return to the best way issues had been. However now that we’re joyful and doing properly, we’re much more assured that we might strive one thing crazier, like transferring to a international nation. However for proper now, we’re staying put!!!

 

The Monetary Particulars….

 

Our previous Los Angeles month-to-month bills vs our new Florida month-to-month bills

So transferring has basically diminished our month-to-month bills by about 60%. Most each space of our life is cheaper right here, however not all by 60%. The largest reductions in spending are our housing cost and baby care prices. Plus we even have tried to tighten our spending a bit.

We additionally wish to level out that the numbers listed here are precise expenditures, not a funds. For LA we used a median of Jan-Nov 2017, and for FL we used a median of Jan-Nov 2019. We did not use 2018 as a result of we moved 3 times and lived in LA, Austin and FL. It was not a constant comparability.

Baby care prices are means much less as a result of we went from a full-time nanny to a full-time mother with some preschool. We might have ultimately switched to high school in LA, however not as quickly. With Kristin working full-time, we might not have been ready to do this till kindergarten, after which nonetheless would have wanted after faculty care. It’s additionally probably that our Waldorf faculty right here, would price 2x extra in LA.

The opposite main discount is the price of our dwelling. With the sale of our LA dwelling and another actual property, we're in a position to personal our home outright right here, so the out-of-pocket expense is just taxes and insurance coverage. It’s true that taxes right here, on a share foundation are greater, however home costs are considerably decrease. There's additionally no state earnings tax in FL. Insurance coverage is a bit greater right here as a result of hurricane protection is necessary and you really want flood insurance coverage as properly. In LA earthquake was not necessary, however we had it…which tripled our annual insurance coverage premiums.

Check out the total expense comparability under!

Hyperlink to google sheet

 

Different adjustments we've made to economize

Whereas we’re very diligent about monitoring our spending, we’ll be the primary to confess, we're not essentially the most frugal folks. We (fortunately) made sufficient cash in LA to prioritize comfort over excessive frugality (which is able to price you numerous).

We frequently did not have an excessive amount of alternative nevertheless, with our demanding work schedules. Plus, once we had free time we did not all the time really feel like using “frugal restraint!”

However now that we live much less hectic and extreme lives, listed here are some massive and small adjustments we've made which are saving us cash. 

We get groceries at Walmart as an alternative of Entire Meals. Purchasing at Entire Meals is like shopping for higher-end model clothes. You merely pay extra for a lot of the identical stuff since you like “the model” of Entire Meals and the procuring expertise. Walmart has almost each natural merchandise we would like and it’s all cheaper. There's the ethical dilemma of Walmart having low paid workers and utilizing a deplorable quantity of plastic luggage (amongst different issues I’m certain), nevertheless it’s positively cheaper.We don’t have a housekeeper anymore. Admittedly, we REALLY LIKED having a housekeeper. A beautiful girl named Silvia got here as soon as per week and never solely cleaned the home however did the laundry! Sadly, it price us over $500 month. Now we clear our home and do our personal laundry! (I do know, boo hoo for you guys. hahaha). However once more, we did not have the time earlier than with our work schedules…or so we felt.We solely have one automobile. That is doable as a result of Joe works from dwelling now and Kristin is generally with our son, or running a blog whereas he’s at college (three half-days per week). Once we find yourself within the uncommon automobile bind, one in all us simply Ubers. With the invention of trip providers, many individuals might go down to 1 automobile, and get monetary savings.Different smaller methods we're saving a bit embrace shopping for much less new clothes, ditching common cable, switching to a less expensive cell phone plan, shopping for much less toys and some different trimmings.

 

How a lot we spent transferring every time, and the way we discovered to do it extra effectively

So, as a result of we moved twice in 2018, first from LA to Austin, and second from Austin to Dunedin (near the identical distance), we gained some expertise in transferring! The price for every leg of the transfer was very completely different as a result of we did it the extra frugal (appropriate) means the second time.

Los Angeles to Austin: Complete Value was $12,935Austin to Dunedin: Complete Value was $four,267

As you possibly can see there's a big distinction right here. And for readability, the above numbers included all prices concerned…the movers, vans, flights, rental automobiles, bins, tape, every part associated to the transfer.

With the primary transfer we used a full service firm. They arrive to your own home, put your stuff of their truck, drive to your vacation spot and unload. We additionally paid them to pack “breakable” gadgets like glassware and such. Then all three of us flew to Austin collectively. 

On the second leg, we rented a 26’ truck, and employed native guys to assist pack and unload the truck on both sides. Joe drove the truck for 2 days by himself, whereas Kristin and Luca hung in Austin for 2 additional days, after which flew to satisfy Joe in Tampa (Dunedin is a coastal suburb of Tampa).

In each circumstances we shipped our automobile, and the price was inside just a few hundred ($1295 & $1150), as a result of the gap was related. We considered towing the automobile on the second journey, however since Joe was driving alone, he thought it could have been powerful to drive and navigate tight spots. We additionally needed to get rental automobiles in each circumstances whereas we waited for the automobile to reach.

 

How we're being profitable because the transfer

To be trustworthy, we weren't 100% clear on how we might be making an earnings at first.

We had sufficient financial savings that we had been comfy sort of winging it for a yr and figuring it out. A part of the thought with going to Austin was that there was a marketplace for our work expertise there, if wanted, notably within the promoting recreation. However we had been additionally hoping to present this entire “running a blog factor” an opportunity. 

Surprisingly, when Joe initially mentioned his departure together with his companions, they had been involved in having him proceed to do monetary administration from afar, for a month-to-month consulting payment. This was welcome information and one thing he was greater than excited to maintain doing. Then after leaving, different buddies (who owned related corporations) requested if he can be involved in doing related work for them. Now Joe has 5 enterprise and a couple of particular person purchasers on this capability.

Past that we do have a handful of rental properties which produce some money stream. It’s been a crap shoot yearly on how a lot money that's, nevertheless it gives a bit. Our actual property has principally been a winner by way of improvement, appreciation and amortization. Moreover, we've realized some income from actual property this previous yr promoting present properties, just like the one in Austin and one other in Kansas Metropolis.

There's additionally the fact that the fairness in our remaining actual property and the cash in our retirement accounts is rising. So we determine if we’re solely breaking even on our life basically, for some time, then we needs to be okay in the long term. Time will inform after all.

Lastly, whereas running a blog (or what I choose to name the “enterprise of schooling by people”) appears to have nice earnings prospects, it additionally appears to be a reasonably severe lengthy recreation. Being we're in our (very) early 40’s, have a baby and a part-time day job, we simply can’t put a ton of hours to it each week (or possibly we simply aren't devoted sufficient..haha). Writing lengthy and knowledgeable classes takes time, and we're not in a position to work 70-80 hours per week proper now. However we’re having fun with it and we expect, in time, it'll positively produce some further earnings. Listed below are a few of my articles to take a look at.

Nicely, that’s all she (and he) wrote for now. In case you are considering of doing one thing related and wish to speak about it, be at liberty to e mail us: joe@playlouder.com and kristin@playlouder.com.

Till Then…

Work Sensible & Play Loud

Joe and Kristin

PlayLouder.com

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